Speaks Candidly About Her family, Her Divorce and Her Love for God
+Why She’s In No Hurry To Find Love Again
It is highly unlikely to find any big fan of Nigerian movies who’s not impressed by the exploits of the adorable actress called Shaffy Bello. If she does not melt your heart with the impeccable delivery of her roles, she will with her charming smile and lovable personality. And yes, she is an absolutely gorgeous woman too. Shaffy, no doubt, is a hardworking lady who’s got her flourishing acting career on auto run at this very moment. You will find her face in nearly every blockbuster movie that’s coming out of Nollywood. Her legion of fans just can’t get enough of her. She is everyone’s favourite. That’s why it is almost impossible for most Nollywood fans to do a list of their top five favourite Naija actresses and you won’t find Shaffy Bello’s name popping up repeatedly on that list. Many can’t help but admire her uncanny ability to bring to life complex roles that would’ve given several other actors a tough time to deliver. Shaffy Bello is a phenomenal actress. When she steps on the set to interpret her script, only very few can hold a candle close to her. Shaffy knows her craft, no doubt. She stormed the movie industry years ago and it took her only a short while to hit it big. This is a testament of her immense talent.
TIMELESS magazine crew consisting of duo, ADEWALE ADEGOKE and OLUJIMI ABATAN spent some really quality time engaging this brilliant, exciting lady who, by the way, is already 55 years old but certainly doesn’t look it one bit. She doesn’t look anything like the mother of two adult children that she is. Shaffy opened up on why she sacrificed her marriage for her movie career and why she has no regrets taking that huge decision. She also spoke about her background, her kids and family in a way she’s never done before. This is vintage Shaffy Bello.
Many who knew you when you sang Love Me Jeje along with Seyi Sodimu back in the day and the humongous success that followed the single must’ve expected you would go solo as a musician and not turn out as one of the hottest actresses in the country today, how did that part of you come about?
Well, I would say the story you’re talking about started in Maryland, USA. As of that time, I was there with my family, my siblings. I was there growing a family and then even extended family, my cousins, nieces, etc, hence, Seyi Sodimu. We’re cousins. His mom and my dad and my mom are cousins. If I go into the explanation, the story will be long. So, that’s where that started from. Of course, being there, seeing each other in our 20s, it just felt right. And he was the one who actually was into music. I didn’t see that path for myself. I was trying as much as possible to be a professional in real estate. I was a property manager and things like that. So, I was building my own life separately and then he came to me.
As of this time, I believe, if I’m not mistaken, I had already joined Jesus House Choir, Pastor Ghandi Olaoye. So, Jesus House was my base. Jesus House was where I found myself, because I had a yearning. And I was in the choir for about 14 years or 15 years. During that time was when he approached me and said, hey, why don’t we do this thing? I have this track and I’d like for you to come on. And the rest is history. But I did it based on, okay, whatever, let’s just do it. I had no idea how it would turn out. Of course, I was just having a good time. You know, you never have an idea what your purpose is at such a young age. Some people are special enough to know what their purpose is at the age of 16, 14. I had no idea at that time in my 20s. All I knew was, I had this thing in me that knew that entertainment field is where I’d like to be. I didn’t know where. I didn’t know how. But after doing the song, we had no idea what it was going to turn out to be. So, it ended up being a very big bang in Nigeria.
It pioneered those songs that actually mixed English and Yoruba together. It was one of those songs that did that. And we were proud of it. He would come home, go to radio stations, push the songs. But I had no idea the gravity of what we had created. He would come back to the U.S. and tell me, look, this song is doing really good. And I’m like, okay. We would come home, go for shows and then we shot the video. I think that also propelled the music into what it is now. So, yeah, those were my humble beginnings. My humble beginnings in the industry came from the choir, building from the choir, acting in the Drama department. It’s been so long. It started there.
And then I started doing stage plays and things like that. So, it started from there. Just like a lot of people, choir usually is the best place and your local church is usually the best place. The community is usually the best place to start and how you start it determines sometimes how far you go. The discipline that you have, it determines all of that. And I was under such pastors who were disciplinarians. I mean, Pastor Ituah knows. Pastor Ghandi, Pastor Ituah, Pastor Tony Rapu, they all started these military regime churches that you really have to know what you’re doing to be under them. So, being in a church like that, I started off with very good discipline. And I’m grateful for it today.
I must commend you for the great strides you have recorded in the movie industry within such a very short time. You’re one of those that were lucky it took them only a very short while to make an impact. Not many have been able to do this, coming into the industry and within a very short while, accomplished so much, how did you do it?
Let me quickly say this, luck had nothing to do with what happened to me. Luck had nothing to do with it. Its called preparation meets opportunity. And I’ll tell you why. Since I got into the U.S., I was drawn to a talk show that started right in front of me, and I thought, wow, what an amazing woman. And I wanted so much to watch that talk show, and I watched it every day. When I couldn’t watch it, I would record it just to watch it. And that talk show was the Oprah Winfrey show. And so that show sort of gave me a fantastic foundation. I saw what she did. I saw how she did it. I learned from her. I saw her discipline. I saw the tenacity at which she went for whatever it was that she wanted to do. I was drawn to it. Let me tell you something. In life, you just know when you feel something. If you go towards that feeling, it’s probably leading you somewhere positive. I’ve never watched someone throwing javelin during sports and thought to myself, hmm, I can do that, or I’d like to do that. Or I’ve never seen anybody in space and go, ah, these people go into space through NASA, and there was something that just triggered inside of me to say, I’d like to visit space, never. But there are people who would watch that NASA woman or a man and go, huh, I want to do that. I think I can do that. That’s probably getting you close to your purpose.
So, Oprah was the foundation for you?
Yes, she was. And so I learned while I was in my 20s, watching that show, trying so hard, because I found someone that I thought, that woman is like me. That woman is someone I would like to be like. She wasn’t an actor, so that’s not what it was. It was the way she spoke, the way she narrated, the way she hosted the talk show just made me feel, hummnn, I like that. I love her discipline. And I started following it, and I started watching. Not for anything, but it triggered something within me. So that’s where all of that started from. So even me joining the choir afterwards and all of that, there was discipline in everything that I did. And that had been my principle since I was in my 20s. And that’s what happened. So, coming to Nigeria was not, oh, yeah, so I’m going to do this, and this is what I’m going to do, and this is how I’m going to do it. No, no. I started in the U.S. I got married, had my first daughter at the age of 26, had my son two years later. I started building a family, did the normal mommy’s working, daddy’s working, come home, get them ready.
And coming to Nigeria, I remember then my husband, now ex-husband, he didn’t want me to come, and that’s because, you know, we had a family. We had two children. What am I going to do with these children if you leave? And I thought, let me at least go and try. And one day, Pastor Gandhi called us and said, I think she should go give it a shot and see. I had no plans. I just knew that one of the prayers that I kept praying was, Father, if I go and I fall and things don’t go right, as long as I’m still in your hands, as long as I fall and my fall is in your hands, I’ll be alright and I can always go back. So let’s go give this thing a shot. I am a risk taker. I can do some risky stuff like that, because if you don’t take the risk, you just never know. And so I did. I took the plunge and, thank goodness, it turned out well, because it could have been a disaster, but God did it.
If you put a figure to it, it’s been how many years since you took that decision?
That must’ve been in 2009. That’s like 14 years, right? That’s been a while.
So, if you look back, would you say it’s been worth it every bit of the way, looking at the huge sacrifice you had to make?
That’s the word, sacrifice. And so when you make a sacrifice, it’s a 50-50 chance. You’re putting everything in God’s hands. But I thank God. I don’t look back a lot of times to find regrets. I always think when you do something and maybe it doesn’t work out, well, that’s just the way of the universe telling you that’s not the way. So I figured if it didn’t work, then Nigeria is not my way. Then I go back. I have friends that we came together or that I met here. Some of them have moved back. Some are still here. So, I don’t regret anything. But one thing I will say, I bless the name of the Lord that it has turned out the way it did. I mean, I always say this at every interview for people who care to know, the way that I know that I haven’t done too bad for myself was when my kids looked at me, especially my daughter, and she said to me, you know, Mommy, I’m glad you made the decision to come to Nigeria because you showed me an example of a woman who went for what exactly she wanted. It was tough, it was really rough.
There were so many nights that I would be in my room crying and thinking, what in the world are you doing? Like, you had a life. And then you know, yes, Nigeria can be so hectic. And I would ask myself, why did I leave certainty for something that I’m not even sure of? But here we are today. When my daughter made that statement to me, I knew right then and there that, okay, you did good, Shaffy, you did good.
How old is she?
My daughter is 28 now. And my son is 26.Yes. I’m free. Hallelujah, I’m free (laughs).
So how close is Mom to this big girl and big boy? How often do you see your kids?
So we see twice a year because they’re both working as well. They’re adults. They’re building their own lives. They’re building their own identity. And I’ve always been that parent that when you need me, you call me. If I want to hear from you guys, I will call you. But my call is, how’s it going? Have you made that decision? Oh, it didn’t work out? Well, okay, you got to make another one. So I’ve always been that parent. And I’ve always been the kind of parent that, for me, I let my children in on everything. And you can put that in capital letters. Everything. I’m broke, I’m sad, I don’t feel right, I don’t like what I’m doing, I did something wrong, I made a boo-boo, everything! Like, yes, I let them see it. See, there’s no other place you’re going to learn from an adult who can be totally honest with you. I let my kids in on everything. So, yeah, they’re grown now, and I thank God for it. They have their lives. We see twice a year. But for the most part, thank goodness for technology. It’s not a matter of we see twice a year, we see probably every night almost. Every two nights or so, we’ll video chat. We’ll be talking. I’ll be going around the house. It’s almost like they’re there. They just left this December. They come every December because they love Nigeria and I like them being around.
My son is into marketing, and my daughter is sort of in the industry too. She has a hair salon and a make-up place in the U.S. She has a studio in the U.S., and she does a lot of high-end jobs. And my son is also into marketing. He’s worked for Sony, RCA. Right now he’s with TV One. But I like them coming here, and the reason is because they see what I don’t see. They come here and see me at work and go, ‘you need to position yourself better with this thing that you’re doing. These people want you to do this? You need to ask for this, ask for that. I mean, of course, a lot of times I’ll tell them, this is Nigeria. There are some things I can’t push.
I need to ask you this question, where were you raised? I’m looking at the fact that you’re not just very hyperactive, you’re always happy, always smiling. You seem to have this energy buzzing around you all of the time, and I’m thinking, where did she get all of that from? What part of your childhood shaped you into who you are?
I was born right here in Lagos. My family, my father, my siblings lived right here in Lagos.
Which part of Lagos?
Iga-Oba, Iga-Iduganran, Lagos Island. My dad started from Lagos Island. Yeah, now you’re getting it. So, my siblings, I have a 72-year-old brother. He would have been 72 today, but he passed away when he was 70. That should tell you the age gap and the siblings that I have. I’m the last of 11 children for my father. So I’m the last of 11, and I’m the last of 7 for my mother. So I’m from a polygamous home. I went to High school here in Ikeja. Maybe I would say by the time I was born and we were growing up, there was a silver spoon. But I’m sure my older siblings wouldn’t be able to say that. They came from humble beginnings. But my dad, thank goodness things flowed for him at some point. So, I guess you can say I had a silver spoon. But my father had the culture of once you’re done with your work, he sorts out your papers and you’re out of the country. Go for your education. And when my older sibling used to go, they would come back.
By the time we started, me and my older sister, by the time some of us started, we didn’t come back anymore. By then, you would go finish your education and find your own path. And that’s what happened to me. So by the time I left, I found people just like me, my age mates, house parties, we just started having, fun going to school and all of that. You know, I will tell you this. I think I’ve always known that I’m not to be played with. I don’t know. I’ve always known that I am not regular. I don’t know how to explain it, but innately, I knew when I’m with people, I just knew that I wasn’t just like any other girl. I’ve always felt like I’m a special girl. And I think you are who you think you are. You become who you think you are if you continue to build on it, and you recognize it, and you work hard. So, remember I told you I emulated a woman called Oprah Winfrey. I said her name now, and I don’t need to say much, you know what that woman is respected for.
So, it was her exact footsteps that I took, not her career, not anything. But in terms of how she thinks, how she was, how she carried herself, what she said, how she said it, and her ideologies, and the people, the special guests she brought on the show, I will say I did go to school, but that was my education. That’s where I got my education from. And so that built me into who I am. And then for every single person, every leader, every mentor that I have met over the years, I learnt something from them. I met a Pastor Gandhi. He molded me by being a fantastic leader, set me apart, and said, you know what, I want you to be the one singing when we have special programs. Why? He saw something that I didn’t know. He recognized something. And after Love Me Jeje, I even had two albums after that singing gospel, so I started singing gospel and traveling about, but that quickly faded away because music, if you’re not on top of it, it just takes off and leaves you behind.
If you look back, which of these movie projects would you say really gave you that much needed break through that you were craving for at the time when you first came into the industry?
I think the series that did it, that first broke it for me, was Tinsel. Being on Tinsel really gave me that, Yeah. So I have been doing small projects here and there. I did a film before then called Eti Keta but Tinsel put me on a different platform. It put me on DSTV and once you’re on DSTV and you’re seen across Africa, your career is on a different level. People underestimate what TV can do to the career of an actor. DSTV did it, I mean, we’re in a day and age now that everybody’s looking to be on Netflix. It’s different but if you’re on regular TV, it does that magic. Tinsel did it and then years later, one of the mentors, the people that I feel God used to propel me is Mr. Femi Odugbemi. He created this show called Battle ground, he produced battle ground. So, after years on end, I spent two years shooting Battle ground. It was a series also and it was a big hit. You know how you’re on level 30 or level 40 and then it took you to level 80. And that was it. Those series really propelled me. I did a job for Mo Abudu. So I started doing some projects for them here and there and so, before you knew it, this Shaffy Bello became a household name and that’s what everybody longs for, to be a household name, and I bless God for that.
Let me put you on the spot here. Who were some of those names at the time you were coming into the industry that you rated very highly and felt were way up there, and you wanted to be on same pedestal with?
There were so many people that I met in the industry, the likes of RMD, the likes of Aunty Joke Silva, Kate Henshaw, Ireti Doyle, Bimbo Akintola, so many of them. Oh, come on, I met them on set and I’m thinking, okay, I’m rolling with the big guns now. But I will say this, I’m now in a place that they see me also and give me the honor and that’s not because I met them and just thought, oh my god, they’re fantastic, no. They see someone who appreciates the fact that they’ve been there before her. She honors them. But at the same time she makes what they do look good. And I think when you look at it that way, it’s almost like where I am now. When I see the younger ones come in and I see a hot actor, wow! I think to myself, my God, that’s what I’m talking about! You know what I mean? That’s what I’m talking about. So when I see good actors, it makes me so excited and proud because for me, gone are those days where we’re looking for quantity, now Industry is all about quality.
So, when I see those actors that bring their A- game, oh, boy, I am excited because I feel now that’s what we’re talking about. This is where we’re going, because it doesn’t do us any good when people who are in the industry or you watch a film and you see an actor just make a scene go flat and you’re thinking to yourself, my goodness, you had every element to make that scene brilliant, what are you doing? Unfortunately, we’re also in an era where we have platforms now that’s giving them popularity and then they come into the industry thinking that that popularity is what’s gonna propel them. But they forget that the skill is actually what they need. Now, don’t get me wrong, when you’re coming into the industry you get better. I got better over time. You get better over time. But at the same time you need to sharpen your skills.
But if you want me to call names of those actors that I think are my favourites, I won’t do that. We have some exceptional actors that are in this industry now that, my God, I can’t wait to work with some of them that I haven’t worked with before. But for the most part, we have some beautiful actors, but if you want me to go ahead and start mentioning some names, I might forget to mention a few names and that won’t be good.
Okay, I’ll let you off on that. Now, tell us about your relationship with God, I am so, so surprised to find you talking so passionately about God the way you have done in the course of this interview. Can you share this part of your life with us? Where did all of that evolve from?
I was born Muslim. My father and mother were Muslims, but while I was in high school and I would see a lot of my friends, holding small fellowships. They will have these meetings, just little cell groups of Christians and for some reasons, for me, Christianity felt right. It made sense. I wanted to speak to my maker in my language. I didn’t want to have to learn another language to do so. As a young kid, that’s how I felt. That doesn’t mean that that’s the norm, but as a young kid, that that’s what happened to me and I I just thought, okay, I like this religion and I started doing it. I was hiding it at home. I was hiding it from home but then when I now got to the U.S. after high school, that’s when I truly developed this relationship with God. And an aunt of mine was also like a pastor, she would always call all of us together and we had prayer meetings. And so, I think honestly, he had been knocking on my door for so long and just like he does for everyone. It’s just up to you to open that door, He’s always knocking. So, I opened the door with all pleasure. But I thank God that the way that I accepted Him and the way my nature is, is that, I don’t want you to tell me about this thing, I want to know about it myself. I want to find out myself. Don’t give me testimonies, don’t tell me what he’s about and all that, I don’t want that.
Hence, I tell people all the time, honestly, I’m not a religious person, not a religious woman. Yeah, please, I’m not religious. So, if you’re trying to ask, okay, are you Pentecostal, are you this or that, I don’t like those questions. I love God and I believe in being spirit-filled. Spirituality is a thing for me and my relationship with God through Christ is important. And I think the baseline of who I am innately is that, in this industry, people have been Christians or some people have been Christians all their lives that they forget what we’re supposed to do as Christians. I’ll give you an example. As a Christian, I ought not to say Jesus Christ before you know that I’m a Christian. If I walk into a room, within 10 minutes, you ought to think there’s something about this woman that’s just very captivating. There’s just something about this person. You could be quiet, but there’s something. So by the time it’s 20 minutes in and we’re talking and then it gets to what my beliefs are or that name Jesus drops, you should be able to say, ‘ah, ah!’ For me, I am an Evangelist of Christ, that’s the way I see it and in what I do, in what I am, in the things that I say. The rooms I walk into, I take him with me with pleasure. I introduce him with pleasure, but I will introduce him in a way that, by the time I am done introducing him, you have no other thing to think about but to say, I like that person you’re introducing to me, how do I know him more? So, innately, that’s who we’re all supposed to be. That’s the purpose of our lives. You’re supposed to be someone who, through what you do, introduces Christ to everyone. So, we’re all evangelists. But I love being a Christian. I love knowing Christ. I think it’s that thing that makes you glow, that sets you apart.
My next question is one I’m sure a lot of your fans would be curious as to what your answer will be. Let me put it this way, the moment you publicly announced that you were separated from your husband, I said to myself, now she’s in trouble! This lady just asked for trouble! And I said that knowing that, right now, you’re not just one of the hottest actors in the land, but you’re also one of the most gorgeous in the industry, plus the fact that you’ve got a charming personality to go with it. And that’s a really strong combination you have there, something most men can’t ignore. So, tell us, how much trouble have you had to deal with from men ever since your marriage ended and how come Shaffy isn’t taken yet?
(Bursts into laughter) Oh, God, I love this! How much trouble have I had to contend with? Well, look, I would put it this way. It’s not like I don’t have suitors, but, hey, I don’t want to go through this rendezvous one more time and then it fails, yeah? Whatever it is that you do must glorify your maker. So, for me, first of all, you also have to understand that some men don’t have the confidence for a strong woman. Not a lot of men have the confidence for a strong woman. Automatically, they think, no, this one is too much. And then, two, even when they do come by, sometimes, they don’t match the level of intelligence I want as a sapiosexual, Isn’t that what they call us now? That’s what I’m attracted to. That’s it for me. If you don’t have it up here, we can’t sit and have a conversation. Nine times out of ten, it’s not going to work. And then, I’m about to be 55 this year, right? Come on, you have to come correct now. I have a 28-year-old child, I have a 26-year-old, I’m not having any more children. What am I looking for now? As someone who just wants to enjoy life, work towards retiring, so that means we’re rounding off working, about to start setting the pace for let’s go here, let’s go there, about to start fixing the home for grandchildren. That’s it. That’s where we’re going now and then, enjoying our own lives. So, maybe I’m accepting resumes. I’m accepting resumes. How about that? Let’s put it that way. I’m accepting resumes. But to be honest with you, another huge problem is the industry, I mean, it doesn’t really allow for a lot of that. I’m talking about the time. And you know how a lot of you African men are? They can be rigid on a lot of issues. And then some of them don’t even want to date actors, forgetting the fact that it’s just a job, it’s a career, it’s a profession as well and it doesn’t give us time, too. Do you know how many family occasions I’m invited to and I can’t make it? So, there’s a lot.
I’ve heard a lot of really wonderful actresses say they also have this morbid fear for men, because you can’t tell their real intentions. Is that the same for you? Do you share those concerns as well?
That’s not my problem! I don’t know your intentions? Oh, I will know because you’re coming to meet a child of God with discerning spirit. Oh, yes, I would know. And then, I’ve spent a lot of time on this earth, you’re going to have to really do a fantastic job at hiding some of the things. Now, because I still allow your presence to be around me, it doesn’t mean I didn’t see it. But it’s just that maybe your positive outweighs the negative and you know, nobody’s perfect. But that you will come, you want to take advantage of me? God will, first of all, step in. I’ve had situations where God will step in and take you out of the equation. And I don’t question it when things like that happen. Because when you pray, expect to receive. So when I’m praying that Father God, order my steps and so when He orders your steps and takes someone out of your life, why question it? So that a man will come into my life and lie to me? Ha, that will be a tough one o, because I’ll see you coming. I’ll see you coming from a mile away. Now, some things you will get away with. Little things you’ll get away with. But innately, what can damage me as a person, as a human being, my career, my relationship with you, if it’s in danger, if it’s not something that I should put out there, whatever the guidelines are, I would know. And you shouldn’t put any relationship out there unless you’re sure anyway, not in this day and age. That’s why you haven’t heard anything.
But certainly, you’ve been in a bit of trouble from what you said?
Yeah, from time to time, I must agree with you.
Because you just can’t walk past situations like that, right?
Yeah, it happens. It happens a lot. But then, the thing is, I also don’t put myself in a lot of dating situations. Look at me now, I’m here, at work. Once I’m done here, my house is maybe about 10 minutes away. I go back home. And I love my abode. I love it. I make sure it’s always cosy, because I’m not always home. So when I’m home, I want to be comfortable. I watch my TV, sit down, read if I need to.
What words do you have for the younger generation, the youths? What would you want the youths to learn from the life of Shaffy Bello?
Yeah, it’s a lot. But I will say to the younger ones, don’t worry about making mistakes. Don’t worry about it. You’re going to learn from them. You need them, actually. You need to make those mistakes. You need to challenge yourself and it’s not going to be perfect. It’s not going to be easy, but the end will be so good. Trust your instincts. When you’re somewhere, when you’re with someone, when you’re having an interview, when you walk into a room, when you meet people, trust that thing that tells you, no. When you’re angry, know that it is because that situation is not where you should be. When you’re not flourishing, it is because something is just not aligned. Trust your instincts. Have a regimen of principles. Let your yes be yes. Let your no be no. You will be amazed what having integrity will do for you in life. And I’m not saying this just to you, young ones, because some older ones too ought to learn it. This is not an age thing. Integrity, it means so much. You tell me I will be with you tomorrow and you can’t make it. You don’t call. You don’t text. You don’t do anything. Then I call you the day after and it’s, ah, I’m so sorry, that yesterday was very… Whatever happened to just calling to say, you know what, I gave you a two o’clock appointment. Don’t give me a reason why you couldn’t make it, you just couldn’t make it and that’s okay. It’s better than not showing up. Integrity.
Show up for yourself, young people. Don’t show up for me. Don’t show up for mom. Don’t show up for dad. Show up for yourself. Do what you need to do. Work hard. When I say show up for yourself, I mean work hard. Work smart. Do the things you need to do now. I’m telling you right now at 55, there are some things you’re gonna think, boy, I should have done this thing when it was introduced to me and I didn’t do it. Hold on to the best foundation that I can think of, and that’s God. Do the best you can. Don’t judge yourself too much. You’re gonna mess up. You’re gonna do a lot of things that you’re gonna sit down and think, ah, well, God’s not gonna love me anymore. No, no, no, he loves you not because of what you are doing, He just loves you because you’re you. He created you and that’s the only reason He loves you. He doesn’t have conditions. His is the only love that doesn’t have conditions. So trust him. Build with him. Let him be your foundation.
