Senior Citizens are a strong and often unappreciated minority group who play a pivotal role in the family. I loved my grandparents – I met three in my lifetime – and they all loved their grandchildren. It was always a joy for them to visit despite their varied geographical locations. When I was at the primary school, my immediate younger brother and I, would spend weekends with my maternal Grandma (fondly called Mama L’Eko), where we were always spoilt for choice of food to eat and places to visit such as De Facto at Yaba and Kingsway in Marina. Grandma spent money on us as if it was going out of fashion and by the time our parents came to pick us up on Sunday afternoon, we would have gained so much weight that the uniforms we had worn the previous Friday afternoon, would seem to have shrunk!
My paternal Grandma (fondly called ‘Mama L’Ondo) was a funny woman who took delight in bringing us foodstuff we would not normally get in Lagos. We always loved the times she spent with us because my siblings and I knew it was time to indulge ourselves. One of our indulgences was asking her to beg our parents to let us stay up late to watch the television. Our excuse was that we wanted to be close to Mama since she had limited time to spend with us before returning to Ondo – almost a 7 hour journey by road, back then in the 1970s.
What about ‘Papa’? One of my fondest memories of my maternal Grandfather (aka Papa Odaliki) was when he played the piano, each time we visited him. He was an accomplished Pianist, and so was my maternal Grandma. To this day, I think he probably ‘toasted’ her using his mastery of the keyboards! I was fortunate that my children knew him – their maternal Great-grandfather – and had the opportunity to sing with him as he played the piano. In fact, my children had the opportunity to meet all three of my surviving grandparents. It was such a blessing from God. However, as someone once said, life is like a play. You play your role and once you are done, you leave the stage. Sadly, one after the other, my grandparents left for the great beyond.
Old age is defined as drawing near to the end of the human life cycle and is a period of limited regenerative abilities and a greater proneness to disease and sickness. Papa started showing signs of forgetfulness and I struggled to believe that the tall, gentleman who had a penchant for bowler hats would no longer be himself. When my maternal Grandma suffered a stroke, I could not believe it. How could this happen to such an elegant beautiful woman whose skin was flawless with naturally wavy hair like a Fulani? As for Mama L’Ondo, she slept peacefully on her journey to the ‘pearly gates’.
Later, the tide turned full circle and my parents played the same role for my children and other grand children. I recall the time my children briefly relocated from the UK to Nigeria. My parents were their mentors. They attended every PTA (Parents Teachers Associaton) meetings and were always very proud to show off to their friends that their grandchildren lived with them. It was sheer joy for them to bond with their grandchildren.
The vision I initially had in 2006 of ‘Granny’s Place’ came back to me again. A place to celebrate Senior Citizens. I joined a group in my local church and had the opportunity to visit various Nursing and care Homes every Sunday after church service. Some of the ‘grannies’ never had children whilst some who did, had to be taken to the Care Homes due to serious ailments. Visiting them made me realise how we usually take simple things for granted. The ‘grannies’ just wanted someone to talk to. Others were so incapacitated that the only thing one could do was to touch them and smile.
Some would like to remember their youthful days, listening to songs from that era; others preferred to either re-dedicate or give their lives to God.
Being in the group provided me with the opportunity to to repay the love that my Grandparents gave me when they were alive. In the same manner, the love that my children shared with my late parents.
Like a typical African, my Mother could never envisage or share my idea of a Senior Citizen’s Home. However, she felt very lonely when our Dad, the only man she had ever known for over 5 decades, passed on. I tried to reason with her that having an ‘Activity Centre or Day Care Centre for the Elderly’ or getting involved in church activities, would alleviate her loneliness. Then my Mother informed me that Pastor Ituah Ighodalo, Senior Pastor and Founder of Trinity House Nigeria, had decided to establish a group for the Elderly in the Church. I was elated. Alas, my Mother did not live long enough to witness the birth of the group.
‘Dignity to the End’ for the Elderly is so paramount. Life is still worth living after a partner’s demise or when children are grown up and left home. We need to appreciate the Elderly for their contributions, which are often undervalued, within the family. Laugh with them, not at them. Engage in discussions with them to stimulate their brain. If they know how to play lcoal games such as ‘Ayo’, or other board games such as Ludo or Monopoly or Scrabble, offer to play with them. If they play any musical instrument such as the piano or guitar, encourage them. Read the papers to them. Help them around the house, if you can. Take them out for a meal or for a drive. Make friends with them and telephone them once in a while to enquire about their welfare. The Elders need to be appreciated and celebrated whilst still alive.
I therefore encourage everyone to appreciate the Elderly initiatiave at Trinity House but also to celebrate other Senior Citizens outside the church and within their respective families. We all pray to live to a grand old age and be surrounded by our loved ones.
“Relish love in our old age! Aged love is like aged wine; it becomes more satisfying, more refreshing, more valuable, more appreciated and more intoxicating.” ~Leo Buscaglia (American Author & Motivational Speaker)
Anne-Funmi Fatusin
A Freelance Writer based in UK
February 2019
