“God won’t give you more than you can handle.”
That’s one of the most common axioms we are handed in the midst of intense grief. Well intentioned, sure. Everyone needs to be encouraged, and what better way than by letting someone know they must be strong enough to face whatever circumstance lies before them because the Divine has deemed them able. But for all its well-meaning consolation, it’s about as scriptural as “God helps those who help themselves,” and “Cleanliness is next to godliness.” Which is to say, it’s not. You can make the argument for these sentiments using the Bible, but you have to be a trained contortionist to make everything bend the right way.
The support for “God won’t give you more than you can handle” comes from 1 Corinthians 10:13, where Paul writes, “God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear” (emphasis added). Notice that the verse is about temptation. It’s not about being overwhelmed by life. This verse wasn’t intended to be a comfort to someone reeling from the loss of a child. Paul wasn’t meaning for someone to rely on their own strength while fighting cancer. God didn’t take away your job so you could see how strong you are.
To a survivor of Auschwitz say, “God won’t give you more than you can handle.”
To a young girl sold into prostitution say, “God won’t give you more than you can handle.”
To a Christian in Iraq whose world has been destroyed by ISIS say, “God won’t give you more than you can handle.”
To a mother who lost her daughter to a Palestinian bomber say, “God won’t give you more than you can handle.”
To a father from the poverty-stricken countryside of Cambodia who was injured while hunting for food and can no longer work and provide for his family say, “God won’t give you more than you handle.”
Seems cold, even heartless, no?
To the one suffering, we are saying ‘Please don’t ask for help because you should be able to handle whatever it is you’re going through, because God in his divine omniscience gave it to you.’
Coming into contact with the ill and broken reminds us of our own helplessness and susceptibility to suffering. We could lose our jobs. Our spouse could cheat on us. The hope we have for our kids’ future could be erased by heroin. And we wonder, If that happens, can I handle it? So we spout the phrase to those who are actually walking through life’s valleys, hoping that if they can handle it, we might be able to handle it too.
Truth is, none of us can really handle life. There’s too much joy, too much sorrow, too much beauty, too much pain. Life—with its baby giggles, courageous cancer survivors, immense poverty, brutal trafficking of young girls, and redemptive stories of justice—is paralyzingly large. Those who say they can manage real life aren’t paying attention to the fathomless ocean of human emotion.
Implying that we can handle whatever storm threatens our house is not biblical. If anything, it is the exact opposite
I can’t handle everything. Neither can you.
But that’s okay. Because that’s where God will meet us.
First published on the Bible Gateway Blog
